At the beginning of 2013, we were at our lowest place. We decided that we wouldn’t do anything else, spend any more money, fill out any more forms, unless things changed. We told some people we were done, that our current processes were dead in the water. It felt foolish to try anything more. Then, in late 2013, we began to read new stories and hear new conversations in the adoption community. People said that many kids were being ignored or passed over because they were listed as “special needs” children.

“Special needs” can refer to a variety of issues, physical or emotional or developmental, temporary or permanent, from very mild to very extreme. It can be as simple as a child nearing the age where she is consider “too old” for adoption or as complex as a child having multiple disabilities. As Janet and I talked about what we could handle, we felt like God was saying, “One of these children is meant to be part of your family.” It wasn’t an audible voice, just a conviction and a peace that he’d already prepared us and that he was going to lead us to a special little boy or girl. So, we contacted our agency and asked them to review our qualifications for special needs.

In July of 2014, Janet was reading a blog written by Lara, a woman on a mission team who went to an orphanage in China to work with children. Each day, Lara wrote about a different child, using a pseudonym to protect the child’s privacy, and included pictures. We spotted a little boy who looked familiar because we’d seen him on our agency’s web site. We hadn’t reviewed his page because we weren’t able to see much information. But when we read Lara’s story about spending several days with him, our hearts were captured. So, in August, 2014, we asked our agency if we could review that boy’s file.

Reviewing a child’s file means you receive a lot of documents, originals in Chinese and translations in English. They tell you what he eats, how he sleeps, what his days are like, what medical care he’s received, what milestones he’s reached in development, what makes him happy, and what cause him distress or struggles. During the review, you’re given permission to ask any questions you’d like, to request updated pictures and video, and to show the file to your doctor, so she can make recommendations about future care. At the end of the review, you decide whether or not your family is a good match for that special child and you tell your agency if you want to proceed.

I had misgivings about this part of the process. It sounds like buying a used car. You check the odometer and look for signs it’s been in an accident. You wonder if you look good in it. You ask yourself, “Can I handle the risk it might need repairs?” With adoption it’s different. It’s hard to explain until your heart is involved. You aren’t looking for how much use you can get out of this little boy or whether this little girl fits your style. You look at data on pages and ask yourself, “Can I give this special boy a great life? Can I love him and serve him and be the Daddy he wants and needs?” It’s weird how it works. You stop asking, “Can I get enough?” You start asking, “Can I give enough?” In September, 2014, all four of us, Janet, Taylor, Jordan, and I said, “Yes!”