Around the time Taylor and Jordan exited their toddler years, Janet began feeling restless. Deep down, she knew she wasn’t done, that our family wasn’t complete, that being a parent was one thing God equipped her to do well, that she had more love to give. She started dropping hints about the “next one.” I assumed she was speaking metaphorically, so each time it happened I nodded… metaphorically. She never pressured me. She just made it known that the door to more children was still open.
In 2006, I had a series of random encounters with adoption. I met several families who had adopted. Our church hosted an adoption seminar and I was asked to be the staff liaison to the adoption agency. Before and after the seminar, I found myself talking to the speaker about what adoption required, what it cost, how hard it was, and how big the need was. I stumbled onto several adoption web sites and out of curiosity began to read. I found myself thinking, “We could do that. That might be cool.”
One night, Janet and I were eating at Rubio’s. To those who know me well, saying “I was eating at Rubio’s” is like saying “I was breathing.” Rubio’s is a Mexican restaurant I visit so often that the manager often calls me out as I walk in the door, “Kevin! Good to see you! Blackened tilapia burrito?” That night, Janet dropped another hint. Thinking I was being sly, I asked her, “Would the third one have to be born to us?” To my great surprise, she said, “No. Let’s talk about it.” To my greater surprise, I was ready to talk, too. So, the conversation began. On Christmas Day, I gave Janet a book on adoption, my way of saying, “I’m in. Let’s do it.” The next day, we filed an application and started the long training and paperwork trail to adopt a baby girl from China.
Why did we choose China? We knew we wanted to adopt internationally. We looked briefly at domestic adoption, but several factors made us hesitant, so we closed that door almost immediately. During college, I lived in China for a summer. I was fortunate to begin good friendships with two Chinese graduate students who took me to do and see many things a tourist usually doesn’t get to do or see. I developed a love for a truly unique country with a fascinating history and generous people. And unlike many other countries, China’s adoption process is one of the most stable in the world. The policies don’t change randomly. So, when we decided to adopt, China was our first choice.
In September, 2007, after months of classes, fingerprinting, home studies, financial disclosures, and personal evaluations, our completed dossier finally arrived in China and we entered the waiting stage. At the time, waits were about two years. But the wait grew… three years, then four years, then five. As we waited, we talked about adopting a baby boy from Ethiopia. Given that our projected wait in China was getting longer, we started a second adoption, convinced it would be done before we reached the top of the list in China. Our Ethiopia dossier arrived in August, 2011, but the waits soon began to climb there, too. We wondered if we had wasted our time, money, hopes, and prayers on a pointless dream. Maybe we should just cut our losses and quit….